


for she had eyes (and chose me)

by phanetixs



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, also when phil leaves and dan gets all angst emo, radio show circa 2014, smut too wowowow wild phanetixs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11289783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanetixs/pseuds/phanetixs
Summary: And because Phil is so much more honest, a whole lot more delirious in love and unashamed to show it; privately to an audience of one, “I miss you. So much.”Or, five days without Phil.





	for she had eyes (and chose me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> As of _maghrib_ prayers today, the month of _Syawal_ officially has begun, as have the celebrations for _Eid al-Fitr_ ; the end of _Ramadan_ for Muslims. I am not of the faith but to celebrate in my own insignificant way, I wrote a short fic (as prompted by samira, hi!)  & would like to wish all my muslim mutuals (samira, su, kuen, nad, asai, to name a few) and everyone else a very happy Eid! 
> 
> Also for Al, who might be reading, u r my fave gay enabler. Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
> 
> (title from much ado)

 

Fact: Phil leaves with a bang.

A figurative bang—though, the way his shin hit the edge of their centre dark brown coffee table might’ve contributed in the literal sense; effectively making the piece of furniture _more_ secondhand than before, thanks Phil. There’s a small dent in the corner of brown wood when Phil kisses Dan goodbye, lips lingering and palm on the small of Dan’s back. Fingerprints pressing down on his ratty t-shirt. 

“And you’ll be back,” Dan pulls away for a moment, “in five days.” He says it like a statement, not a question, because this is their second home together and any doubts Dan might’ve had he has dumped somewhere in Manchester. He says it not like a question because he has Phil’s itinerary imprinted in his head and it thumps and throbs like a heartbeat.

“Five days,” Phil repeats. “Less than a week. Like a hundred twenty hours. Imagine yourself binge watching the good Buffy eps. The ones with Angel’s abs.” 

“That’s like _all_ of Buffy,” Dan says, lost a bit in the way Phil’s eyes look so fond.

“Your point being?” Phil laughs and reaches up a bit to rub his nose against Dan’s; honking taxi as his soundtrack. Blaring and loud and nothing compared to the shit they have to put up with everyday: the guy can wait.

“I love you.” Dan exhales in a breath, easier now that he’s comfortable with even saying it at all. Physical showing of affection has always been a bit of a low point—sex being the exception, yea boi— of Dan’s, Phil knows, so he smiles and says it back. 

“All the time.” And then Phil untangles himself from Dan’s octopus arms, takes a deep inhale and just looks so pretty in his glasses and messy hair. They’ve been apart for _longer_ than five days—he thinks of Wokingham longing and pixelated Skype calls— but this part never gets any easier. 

Bye, Phil waves. 

And then he’s gone.

 

-

 

Fact: Dan mopes when he’s alone.

Like full-on; permanent pouty face, in only his pants, eating copious amounts of ice cream self. The moody and sad tweets and pathetic in general self, the one he rarely ever indulges in when Phil’s around. Which sucks now that Dan thinks about it because sad, pouty Dan is a surefire way to cuddles and sex going on two in the morning. 

Which is not the point, he thinks, when he rewatches ‘The Help’ for a good cry. Because subconsciously Dan figures Phil leaving him for Florida is _as_ unfair as anti-Black sentiment and white privilege, his dramatic ten pm mind itches to tweet.

He skips on it anyway and has another bite of pizza, extra cheese for some kind of inner fulfillment.

Later, Dan wonders, filling two glasses, how long he’s gone entirely _coexistent_ with Phil; exactly when he started habitually making two cups of coffee in the morning and bringing up two glasses of water for their bedside tables at night. 

He chugs down the _for Phil_ water, his eyes stay unfocused as he envisions the solid of Phil’s shoulder nudging into his and the soft twisting of their fingers. 

He saves in his twitter drafts: Absence puts things into perspective, folks. 

(Which people will definitely read into because Phil hasn’t been gone six hours and Dan already wants to wax poetic and write sonnets about how much it fucking sucks to be alone whilst his _hetero_ _platonic best friend_ and family are on holiday to the faux Caribbean strip of land, the southeastern tip of America)  

And at the end, it’s days like this: moping and sad tweets and overthinking that Dan _really_ hates there isn't a Phil to keep him company, comfortably nudging a shoulder into his.

 

-

 

Fact: Phil gets bitten by a squirrel in _the_ Florida. 

When Dan said he really wished Phil would get whooped in the ass for leaving him alone in London, he hadn’t meant it shrunk down to bite-sized and by a potentially rabies-filled rodent. Not _really_ , but Dan still laughs and sends a hidden smirk _up_ wards when he hears. 

“ _Attacked_ ,” Phil amends, reiterating his point. “Winston _lunged_ at me, Dan. Enough nightmare content for days.” A situation that Dan imagines in his head, and laughs some more at Phil’s expense. They’re on FaceTime so Dan can see the bite not _actually_ being all scary looking at all. Dan clicks out of the window to find some squirrel meme he can send Phil. 

“Mm,” he hears Phil mumble quietly, the light next to his webcam flashing bright. 

“Whatchu doing?” Dan asks, working his bottom lip into his mouth as he scrolls through two different Google search pages. Why couldn’t Phil have been bitten by some Shrek mascot from Disneyworld or something. Would’ve been so much easier to take the piss out of, Dan thinks.

He almost misses the soft, sure reply. “Nah, just looking at you.”

“Are you _really_ now?” Dan replies, a bit snarky—reeling from the whole being left behind part and having to work solo tomorrow to run their _joint_ radio show, excuse you—but not entirely unfeeling because he knows Phil probably is. That Phil’s always looking at him and he’s always looking at Phil. In every way, shape and form.

_Codependent. Coexistent._

And because Phil is so much more honest, a whole lot more delirious in love and unashamed to show it; privately to an audience of one, “I miss you. So much.”

It’s been three days now.

“It’s only been three days, clam down,” Dan jokes, settles for some levity. He knows if he starts, he won’t be able to stop and Phil would waste an entire trip with more longing than necessary. Dan thinks of an idea instead.

“Hey, why don’t I call you during the radio show tomorrow and you can retell your assault by squirrel?” Lips a bit upturned at the corners, dry skin and eyes wide. Phil says yes, of course, why not say it in front of about a hundred thousand people. Not that they don’t think I have rabies _already_.

“Love you,” Dan yawns, an end to twenty four hours. 

“Love you more.”

“Spork,” and Dan means _two days_.

 

_-_

 

Fact: Radio is weird without Phil.

Jameela tries to make small talk before the show, bless her heart, but Dan’s as zoned out as a six year old in a theoretical physics class. London’s so dreary, Dan notices, out the window he’s currently standing next to. Effectively ignoring his super nice radio friend.

“Sorry, um.” Dan interrupts. 

“Phil isn’t here?” she asks, almost like she _hadn’t_ seen the tweets Phil’s posted about American pancakes. Two of them, actually. Phil has a legitimate problem. Almost like she needed confirmation from the better half himself. They’re _all_ suspicious, it feels like—Grimmy, Aled, Dec.

And Dan’s just tired so he gives in a bit.

“Nope,” popping the _p_ for emphasis, “left me at home, that bitch.” Which gets a few laughs but Jameela smiles a bit pityingly at that.

Dan’s on air at about nine, and it feels a bit muggy in the studio. Cold and empty. He tries not to think about it as he does the intro (only one awkward Phil pause, a victory) and segues into the top hits of the week. 

When Phil calls in from his holiday villa swimming pool, Dan heaves an audible sigh of relief. They haven’t spoken all day but there’s no time to dwell. Phil launches into the story of cannibalistic rodents and their banter is the most comfortable Dan’s been on radio all night.

“See ya guys!” Phil says, annoyingly chirpy for Dan’s slight melancholy now that he’s lonely again, and clicks off. 

“There you have it guys, _the_ AmazingPhil bitten by a squirrel in Florida. God help us all.”

 

-

 

Fact: Sex after a couple days apart is fantastic.

“How did you,” Dan gasps, Phil hitting his sweet spot; once, _twice._ “ohh, fuck—find the trip?” 

He hadn’t been able to ask earlier, what with Phil dramatically shoving aside his suitcases and pinning Dan to the wall and letting gravity drop him to his knees, salivating when Dan’s cock springs out of confinement. It’s been hours since then and they’re on a solid mattress now.

“Dan, Dan, _Dan_ ,” which isn’t really an answer if you take it literally and not a product of Dan mouthing at Phil’s nipples until the nubs are pink and fluffy. A hickey he sucks into Phil’s clavicle as Phil hovers over him, thrusting mindlessly.

“ _Ohmygosh_ ,” comes out in a rush, Dan fervently fisting his cock, Phil finishing long and loud inside of him. He comes then, onto both their chests, and it’s Dan marking his territory in the best way. Like animals scenting and all that shit. Phil shan’t leave again.

“The trip was good,” Phil mumbles into his ear, snuffling a bit. “Mum asked for you.”

“Oh?”

“Next time you come I’ll show you _the_ squirrel and the parts of Disney we haven’t been to and I’ll fuck you into our mattress with Martyn outside sipping his tea.”

Dan chokes a laugh, setting his hand above the pile of come and kisses Phil soundly. Because he’s missed this. Buzzing noise amidst the quiet. The hum of contentment. 

“Sap.”

“You love me.” Phil says, convinced; blissed-out.

“Yeah, I kind of do.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> yo probs not going to be writing for a long while so see you when i see you! still would love to hear what you have to think! hated it? loved it? argue down below :)


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